Glass
by SparklingEnchantress
Summary: Deyna One Shot. Just what my imagination came up with for what's to come in 1 x 12. Want to know more? Read and find out.


**A/N:** Holy shit, after that promo my mind just wouldn't stop racing with what is to come and I can't believe we have to wait another two weeks to see what's going to go down with Deyna. I am seriously going crazy over this, and I've watched the promo like a thousand times already I swear, and every time I get more and more excited. After watching the promo countless times, and then seeing the screepcaps from what looks to be their heart-to-heart..I'm almost positive close to none of this will happen..but you know what this is my version of what I think/wish would happen. Alrighty on with it, I am so sorry for babbling. And just a forewarning this is my first time writing for these two I hope I capture the characters alright. Especially considering I wrote this in first person from Rayna's point of view, and I'm only planning on it being a 1 Shot. Any similarities to other Deyna pieces out there is completely **unintended **and all the rights and praise belong to those writers. Also songs used and lyrics used throughout this story do **NOT **belong to me they belong to their respective artists and company. Another warning this is very sexual explicit so if you can't handle it stop reading. And of course I do **NOT** own these characters or the amazing show Nashville at that rate. Please drop a review...when you finish reading. Happy reading loves!

P.S. I'd like to wish a very Happy Birthday to DanilaRufly! Here's your cake darling!(:

**Glass -Thompson Square**

* * *

**Glass**

_Tryin' to live and love _

_With a heart that can't be broken_

_Is like tryin' to see the light_

_With eyes that can't be opened_

I have to blink several times to make sure I have his profile set inside my mind. He isn't here for me, but for Juliette. That little bitch, gloating about it, it takes all of me to fight the urge to roll my eyes at her. Does she not realize that I fired him, that I chose Teddy over Deacon. Shaking my head I glance out of the window towards the small building where Maddie, Daphne, and Teddy are watching. No doubt Teddy is livid that Deacon's joining the tour and I already know he's going to assume that Deacon is joining my band. Once we've finally taken off, I lean back into the couch and flip aimlessly through the most recent issue of Country Weekly. Of course, "Wrong Song" is still topping the charts and the rest of the magazine is just kind of things I already knew living in music city. People love to talk, there is always gossip floating around that I attempt to avoid but it never seems to work. My eyes couldn't help but continuously flicker over to Deacon, ever since I read that article I had been worried about him. I even went over to his place to talk to him about it, which ended with us arguing. He was the one person I hate arguing with. It always left this dreadful weight in the pit of my stomach, but he needed to hear those things, how much he hurt me, how much he scares me when he slips back under the steely grip of alcoholism.

How am I going to explain all of this to Teddy? Do I really have to, god hopefully he hadn't seen Deacon. Hell, who was I kidding that was wishful thinking of course Teddy and the girls would've stayed until we took off so of course they would've seen Deacon. Sighing I close the magazine and toss it aside, part of me wants to go talk to Deacon but I feel that our conversation is something we should have in private. Not something that we should discuss with Juliette sitting ten feet away from us. Ultimately I suppose this is all my fault, I was the one who told him that I needed to let him go, that if he wanted to do her tour he should. But now, somehow I just, I don't know, things are such a mess at home and Deacon showing up joining Juliette's band I have to say stings. It probably stings more than I initially that it would, but he has never been the stable choice. I tip my head back and settle in for the plane ride trying desperately to ignore the fact that he is so close to me.

My eyelids cover my blue grey eyes in a pathetic attempt to block out Juliette's obnoxious laughter because I know she is only trying to rile me up. Drifting off into the darkness the next thing I remember was someone softly nudging my arm, as my eyelids flutter open I gaze up at the man who had been plaguing so many of my thoughts. He always tends to, though if I am being honest, there is always the constant _what if_ that lingers in the back of my mind. _What if _I would have waited, _what if_ I had told him about Maddie, would it have changed anything? He somehow seems softer after our flight his hand is outstretched towards me and I smile slightly taking is proffered hand. "Thanks," I whisper into the empty jet, realizing for the first time that we're alone.

"You haven't changed Ray, always falling asleep." Deacon teases which causes me to blush for some unexplainable reason. He has always known me so well, letting out a gentle laugh to my reaction to his words Deacon leans down and retrieves my bag.

"Deacon, you don't have to. I can get that myself." I find myself reaching for my carry on my hand brushing his rough hand that is griping the handle of the bag tightly. Deacon has a death grip on the bag and doesn't relent as he tilts his head up and our eyes meet.

"Please," he says softly fixing me with a look and I can't help but shake my head at him. Dropping my hand from the top of his I gesture towards the opening in the plane.

"You haven't changed Deacon, always the gentlemen." I offer in a soft tone not wanting to strike a nerve considering we both seem to be warming up to one another and I'm enjoying every second of it.

"When it comes to you, always." We share a smile and then what some may conceive as an awkward pause until he continues. "Hey…Ray listen, I'm sorry about the other day." Our eyes lock and he hangs his head, breaking our eye contact too soon for my liking.

For some reason his apology surprises me, I feel like I should've been the one to apologize. Either way I'm happy that we're getting back to our old ways, maybe? In the sense of our old touring habits, our friendship, not setting fire to that dim spark that is just waiting to catch fire and engulf itself into an uncountable flame. My hand swats the air brushing it off as if the things he had said hadn't strung even though the truth was they cut me to the core. I would've thought that Deacon of all people would understand just how much I regretted not waiting for him. However, if he only knew why I couldn't, oh that would crush him if he knew the truth but like I expressed the other day there was no way for me to know that his fifth trip to rehab would be the time it stuck. "It's okay, don't worry about it I understand."

"I just don't want things to be awkward between us, now that we're going to be on the same tour and all." He said as we began to descend the stairs finally exiting the plane. My heels clicked against the tarmac as we walked side by side towards the building.

"Of course…" there's a lull in our conversation as we both loose ourselves in our own thoughts, a smirk captures my lips as I bump my shoulder against his. "Awkward, we've always been the furthest thing from awkward."

A deep throaty laugh escapes his lips and makes me laugh as well. Deacon nods his head in agreement and without having to even move my eyes I can feel his taking in my profile before he bumps my shoulder back. "That's true."

No matter what our state our relationship was at, if it was when we were young and first falling in love or after his last time in rehab, we always found our way. Always settled into a comfortable, supportive, loving relationship whether it was as friends or as lovers. Silence falls over us and it feels wonderful to have him back on the road with me, even if he's not going to be by my side on the stage its beyond comforting to know he'll be around if I need a friend. We made it into the airport and weave our way seamlessly through all the people until we spot the rest of the group. A sigh escapes my lips as Juliette's high pitched voice rings out above the noise snagging Deacon.

With his hand still wrapped around the handle of my bag he shoots an apologetic glance over his shoulder releasing my bag as he moves away from me. Shaking my head I can't help but laugh at his less than enthusiastic expression as he stands there letting Juliette run her mouth, about whatever. For some reason my eyes watch him carefully his body language gives off the impression that he is the furthest thing from interested in whatever it is Juliette is talking about. When his eyes skirt back over to my direction I glance away but out of the corner of my eye I catch him roll his eyes.

We separate into two different limos per Juliette's request and I settle back against the leather seat tucking a strand of my loose curls behind my ear looking out the window. Damn, I could go for a drink right now. Since we landed my iPhone has been blowing up with notifications, text messages, missed calls, as well as tweets. Taking a deep breath my fingers play across the touch screen unlocking my phone before opening one of the missed text messages, _So, Deacon's going on tour with you now? _Of course, Teddy is going to make this about him. Never mind that it had been very likely that Deacon could've relapsed, him going out on tour is what he needs to stay on the straight and narrow. Sighing my hand tangles in my curls causing Bucky to look up at me, I shake my head and he laughs. The two of us have such a short hand after all this time its truly remarkable.

Our limo halts to a stop outside our hotel, I inhale tossing my iPhone into my purse and zipping it closed. The text messages from Teddy going unnoticed, and the voice-mails unheard. After we were all checked in I latch onto the handle of my suitcase and wheel it towards the elevator. A soft pang pulls me from my internal turmoil and I step onto the elevator alone pressing the number Penthouse button riding it up to the top floor, alone. Once the doors roll shut I close my eyes and lean back against the elevator wall, releasing my suitcase and grabbing a hold of the metal rail that was circling the cubical. Before I knew it the elevator was spitting me out onto the fifth floor, pushing myself off the wall and re-situating my purse and carry-on on my shoulder as my hand grabbed my suitcase and wheeled it into the hallway with me. Blue orbs scanned over the numbers until I found which room was mine, sliding the key-card into the door, I waited to see the small green light and once I did my hand curled around the door handle and pushed the door open to my suite. It was spacious, maybe too big for only one person, but she was Rayna Jaymes after all. The hotel probably purposely gave me the penthouse with the hopes of getting a dazzling review. My eyes shoot over the entirety of the penthouse, its far too big for just me. We have a radio interview that Juliette and I have to sit through, early tomorrow morning so I should probably get to bed.

Shuffling through my purse I retrieve my iPhone and scroll through the contact list until I find our home number. Selecting it I lift the phone to my ear and bit my lower lip as the ring echoes back at me. The nanny answers and part of me is happy that it wasn't Teddy, however she goes to fetch him and I sigh inwardly. This is not a discussion I want to be having right now. There was a reason why I ignored his phone calls, his text messages, there was nothing to say Deacon wasn't there for my band. Would he be around all the time? Yes, did I mind…well no, of course I didn't. Teddy comes onto the line and I visibly slump back against the couch. "Hey,"

"Hi," he returns and from the simple one word response I can tell he's pissed. "Did you get my messages?"

And there it is, its too late for this my eyelids falls over my blue eyes as I rub the crease in my forehead what does he want from me. I thought I'd made it very clear that I needed time to process things, time to figure out what we were going to do, what we were going to tell the girls. Shaking my head, an exasperated sigh spills past my lips, "well I saw a few of your text messages…I turned my phone off on the plane." It was a partial lie, I'd seen all of the text messages, saw all the missed calls, but my phone had been on the whole plane ride.

"You say you need time to process things and then Deacon ends up on your tour?"

Rolling my eyes I bow my head, of course Teddy is going to waste no time and dig right into why he's upset. He's never been one to let things fester, to let things go without addressing it. "Teddy, can we please not do this now?"

"Then when Rayna?" The volume of his voice rises slightly and my head tips back as I close my eyes and inhale deeply.

"I don't know Teddy, I told you I need time…"

"To process, yeah I know but now Deacon is a part of the equation, again." Teddy spits in what I can only perceive as disgust.

This is a fight I do not want to have right now, a discussion that will inevitably lead us nowhere we're both too proud to admit our own faults in the falling out of our marriage. So, in Teddy's opinion using a scapegoat, and placing the blame elsewhere is what we should do. But we both know better, Deacon's presence is surely not going to be a deciding factor when figuring out the next move to make in my marriage to Teddy, he couldn't be. Or maybe it would he will be, we have so much history but I couldn't console in him. That would be similar to throwing salt into a wound. "Can I just talk to the girls, I promised to say goodnight."

"Sure," he relents from his vendetta and I hear his foot steps against our wooden floor and then his voice rings out, "Daph, Mama's on the phone."

From the other end of the line I can hear our youngest daughter squeal in excitement as she snatches the phone from her father and scurries away from him. "Hey baby," my voice coos to her in a soft motherly tone, a complete 360 from the previous conversation Teddy and I had engaged in.

"Hey Mama, how's the hotel?"

Her excitement at such a late hour is adorable and I can just see the smile on her face as she bounces around which ever room in the house she's in at the moment. "Well we just got to the hotel sweetheart, they gave me the penthouse suite."

She gasped and I could picture that wide eyed gaze she probably adapted now. Daphne was always awestruck by the dazzling incentives being a top seller recording artist brought. "The penthouse whoa Mama,"

Letting out a small chuckle to my youngest daughters awestruck behavior towards where I am currently stationed and before rolling my eyes. If it had been fifteen years ago Deacon and I would've spent the night before the show writing, drinking, laughing and eventually loosing ourselves in the passion that burned within us for one another, on nearly every possible flat service in the suite. Exhaustion the next day never a factor, that was what caffeine was for anyway right? Daphne was lost in a tangent when my mind finally found it's way back to the present and I smiled slightly at her eager voice. "Oh really? Whoa, well sweetie you finished all of your homework right?"

"Sure did." She said with confidence wearing a smile no doubt.

"Good girl, now go get in bed its past your bed time." Motherly instincts kicked in out of habit when it dawned on me the time of day.

"But-"

"No, buts missy! Now go get your sister I wanna talk to her."

"Fine." From my end of the phone I can hear Daphne scuttle down the hallway bellowing for her sister. Holding the phone to my ear I shake my head and smile at their sisterly bicker that is muffled and hard to make out from my end. "Goodnight Mama, I love you." Daphne says softly into the phone making my lips curl upward into a smile.

"Goodnight Angel. Love you." As I hear the passing of the phone a beat passes before I acknowledge my eldest daughter. "Hello, sweetheart!"

"Hey Mama, how was the plane ride? When did Deacon join your band again?" Maddie fired always the more curious, the more aware of my two children which makes sense considering she's the oldest.

"Oh the plane ride was…it was fine. And Deacon didn't join my band, he joined Juliette's." The last part of my answer falls throughout my penthouse suite flatly, it still stings that he choose her bubblegum pop country band to join. Have his standards fallen recently.

"What, he joined Juliette's band that is crazy! Why would he do that…he's your lead guitarist no one compares to Deacon." Maddie interrupts my daydreams and I can hear her thumbs working on overdrive as she composes some sort of message to more than likely inform all her friends about this new detail she's discovered.

"Yeah, you're right babe. No one will ever compare to Deacon, but he needs to move on, we all need to move on." Once the last six words roll off the tip of my tongue my mind registers that as something that should've stayed under lock and key in the deepest corner of my mind. A part of me wishes I believed it, that we all need to move on, but for some reason I can't shake it. Personally, I don't think Deacon and I should be going separate ways letting one another go, we'll always need one another.

"What does that mean?" She chides her curiosity being redlined, as the sound of her fingers moving against her touch screen cease completely.

"Nothing. Just, nothing at all. Do you have all your homework done for tomorrow?" Conversation diversion, its not the first time I've opted for that tactic, and it works just as it does most times.

"Okay." Maddie says unconvinced but dropping the subject as her fingers being a song, "Yup, it's all done."

"Good. Now, go get yourself ready for bed. You have.." Cranking my neck around to read the red numbers on my clock I bite down on my lower lip calculating how long she has left. "Twenty minutes before you should be in bed."

"I know I know," she dismisses while moving around. "Night Mama, love you."

"Goodnight darlin'…I love you too."

"Dad!" Maddie yells and I shake my head.

"Maddie…Maddie" Is my pathetic attempt to capture her attention from.

"Yeah? It's okay, tell him goodnight for me."

"Okay. Bye." Her voice sounded confused and but she didn't questioned it which I internally thanked her for. The questions from Teddy had been enough for one evening for my liking.

"Bye." Whispers from the back of my throat to the empty dial tone as I toss my phone onto the bed next to me before I fall backwards into the queen sized bed. There are a million things on my mind. From what the hell is going on with my marriage to Deacon. My mind is always on him as much as I will never admit it to him, or let alone myself but everything comes back to him. Tonight, Maddie's curiosity about Deacon flared up that constant demon that lay at the back of my mind, to tell him or not.

With a sigh I pushed myself off the bed and heaved my suitcase onto the bed unzipping it and shuffling through it until I found my pajamas. After doing the normal bedtime ritual, washing the face, flossing, brushing the teeth, and moisturizing I eye my reflection in the over-sized vanity mirror and then flick off the light gliding across the carpet and slipping between the sheets. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day, Deacon said he didn't want things to be awkward, it'd be nice to have him back on the road with me.

_Yeah, we both carry baggage_

_We picked up on our way_

_So if you love me, do it gently_

_And I will do the same_

The next day is a blur of radio shows, wardrobe alterations, sound check, and finally the concert, which made me visibly gag on several accounts as Juliette flung herself all over Deacon in some barely there dress. After the concert is finally over we're off to our next location. Our crew, probably the best in the business is already over half done dissembling the stage as I cradle my red Solo cup in one hand make my way out of the building. There are a slue of screaming fans at the side door waving frantic hands in my direction. A smile plasters itself across my lips and I glance over my shoulder at Bucky handing over my cup as I collect a picture from a young girl around Maddie's and scrawling my signature across it. We just finished our show in Kansas City and it was insane, to say the least. The crowd was electric they knew every word, and were so loud throughout the entire show. Being on stage was one of the few places I ever felt at home especially as of recently what with the affair accusations and the steady decline of my marriage. Thank god I don't have to deal with Juliette for the rest of the night. Taking several photo opts with crazed fans Bucky ushers me towards the direction of my tour bus. _Oh_, have I missed that bus, glancing over my shoulder I offered one last parting wave to the fans before disappearing into the tour bus.

Just as soon as I get into the bus I finish off what is left of my drink and go about fixing myself another drink. Easily moving about my tour bus I glance over my shoulder feeling Bucky's questioning eyes on me and lift the bottle in his direction in silent offering. With a shift shake of his head I nod, "Suite yourself."

"Is something wrong?" He questions as he plops down on the small couch near the front of the tour bus.

Going about making myself another drink I shake my head. "No, everything's good. Tonight was amazing."

Bucky nods his head and doesn't go about prying any further knowing better after all these years, "Yeah you killed it tonight, Rayna."

Moving a delicate hand towards the front of the sink area I pull open a drawer grabbing a stir stick and swirling around the Jack Daniels mixing it together with the carbonated brown soda. The bubbles lined the side of the plastic red cup once I am satisfied with the concoction my fingers wrap around the cup and lift it to my lips. Tipping it back I chug back a little more than I had originally intended to, this is not helping me convince Bucky that everything is okay. It's just, its not okay, nothing is. Everything is wrong, Deacon's leading Juliette's band which I am sure is definitely throwing my fans through a loop. Clearly, it's throwing me through a loop. I miss him. All of the times we used to spend together on this bus the memories are all around, taunting me. The décor of the bus mocking me as take a seat next to Bucky. "Thanks," slips softly from my tongue as I lean back against the couch and sip my drink. My mind is racing I should probably phone the girls, and deal with Teddy? No, I'll take a rain check on that one. Tonight, I just want to be alone with my thoughts.

When I glance over at Bucky he's distracted himself with the latest issue of Rolling Stone while I sip my drink. Suddenly the roar of the engine breaks me from my internal thoughts, the hues of my blue eyes dart towards the driver of my bus and I smile happy to have the same people surrounding me that I had when I started all of this. Leaning down I tug off my high heels and bring my legs up sitting cross legged with my red solo cup resting securing in between them. Gathering my hair between my hairs I twist a hair band around my hair creating a messy bun. Being on tour away from Teddy is, liberating, refreshing, however I feel as if I can't run fast enough away from all the drama surrounding our marriage.

The tires of the tour bus grip the pavement and veer us our of the arena parking lot. Just the thought of the mess my family situation is in gives me the sudden urge to shoot back a few shots, maybe later. There's no need to fuel Bucky's already suspicious domineer he knows something's going on with me, and I really don't need to be badgered with questions about just what the root of the issues are. Lifting my plastic cup up my lips curl around the rim, and with the flick of my wrist tipping the liquor back. It's strong and gives the back of my throat a welcomed bite as I swallow it down, glancing over the article Bucky is currently reading. He laughs next to me when he senses my eyes reading over his shoulder.

"Do you want to read it?" His hand offers the magazine toward me but I gently decline it.

"Oh, no thanks. I was just being nosy." A genuine laugh creeps out from between my lips and causes Bucky to laugh along with me nodding his head. Sighing its hard to keep myself distracted, all I keep thinking about his Deacon, on stage with that little blonde bimbo. Her dresses were so short, but he probably enjoyed that. _Ugh_, why is this bugging me so much. I fired him, I married Teddy, Deacon is not mine, not my responsibility as he reminded me several days ago. Pushing myself off the couch I grab the bottle of Jack Daniels and lift it as I walk towards the back of the tour bus to the master bedroom. "Goodnight." The irony is not lost on me, I fully realize what my drinking would do to Deacon but, I'm in control. That was his downfall, he couldn't control it. Maybe a few more drinks will help me sort out the mess that I'm living in. Between, Teddy, Maddie, Deacon, and of course I can't count Daddy out when analyzing the colossal mess of a life I've been living in.

Shuffling through some of my stuff I strip off my concert outfit and exchange it for some comfortable yoga pants and a baggy tank top. Not being able to find what I was specifically looking for my legs carry me back out into the main area of the tour bus. "Buck, do you know where my legal pad is?"

His brown eyes shift up to look me over and he opts not to question it and pushes himself off the couch. He goes about rummaging through a basket and rummages through it until he finds what I was asking for. A smile passes between us as he hands off the yellow legal pad. "Here you go."

"Thanks. Goodnight again,"

"Goodnight, Rayna." Bucky offers as I venture back towards my bedroom closing the door shutting the rest of the world out for a while sounds like the perfect plan to get my head all sorted out. Snatching up a pen a get comfortable on my bed my legs spread and my notepad laying between my legs reaching over and grabbing the bottle of Jack. "The whiskey whispers your name, and you can't say no" my right hand scribbles onto the yellow paper my voice echoing them back softly to the melody that's playing inside my head. "Damnit." Unscrews the top of the Jack Daniels bottle I drop my pen onto the paper and pour myself about half a glass of straight whiskey. Humming to the ten words scribbled on the paper, I sigh that doesn't feel right. Nothing feels right at the moment, and maybe that's partially because Deacon isn't here. My left hand lifts my red plastic cup to my lips and I down a shots worth of the straight liquor feeling a pleasant nip at the back of my throat.

Gnawing on my bottom lip the pen wedged between my index and middle finger bounces between them. The pen taps against the paper agitatedly as I hum aloud trying to mentally formulate the next line to the song that I'm currently in the process of writing. Scrawling something down after the lines I previously wrote my head tips to the side analyzing it. No, that's not right scratching out everything I've written up to this point I let out a deep breath. Taking another shot worth of whiskey I blow out the fiery drug before an idea strikes my clouded mind. Wrapping my fingers tightly around the pen my hand begins to pen the words swimming around my brain.

"I can usually drink you right off of my mind

But I miss you tonight

I can normally push you right out of my heart

But I'm too tired to fight"

When the black ink gives life to the words that were taunting my conscious I gaze down at the confession I've just committed to paper. Nodding my head to the melody fading in and out my voice softly sings the four lines attempting to add a more to the first verse. After trying several different transitions nothing, sticks or really moves me. It took one more time of just singing off the top of my head when I felt it was an honest confession, something that made my heart ache.

"Yeah the whole thing begins

And I let you sink into my veins

And I feel the pain like its new

Everything that we were,

Everything that you said,

Everything that I did and that I couldn't do

Plays through tonight"

This was such a heart achingly true confession right now, everything that I could've said and done in matters of Deacon won't leave me alone tonight. Singing the opening four lines and then the first verse together a smile formulates on my pink lips lost in the song that's coming to life in front of my eyes. Scribbling down what I think could be a killer chorus ends up not working out entirely the way I intended it to. For some unexplainable reason tears pool in my blue eyes, this was always so much easier with Deacon, _god_ I miss him so much. He is an expert at this, expressing his feelings in a moment, it's a skill he helped me perfect. Scribbling out the crap chorus that littered the paper out of good faith in an attempt to move it further my hand drops the pen to the yellow legal pad that is becoming more clutter with time. Letting out a long sigh I fall back against the heavenly soft pillows reaching for my plastic cup my lips hesitate against the rim before I tip it back.

This time around I swallow down at least a double shot's worth of Jack I stay laying on down attempting to let my foggy brain come up with a suitable chorus. My arm extends over the edge of our bed, "awee come, on." Slurs from my tongue as bang my head back fourth against the pillow, hoping that will help along the process. The song that I'm creating at a stalemate currently but playing on a loop repeatedly in my head. A relentless melody begging me to find a chorus to give the song wings. Sitting up in my bed, possibly a little too fast, a string of words hit me like a ton of bricks a squeal of excitement. Writing quickly so I wouldn't lose these lyrics before they decorated the yellow paper.

"Tonight your memory burns like a fire

With every one it grows higher and higher

And I can't get over it, I just can't put out this love

I sit in these flames and pray that you'll come back

Close my eyes tightly, hold on and hope that I'm dreaming

Come wake me up"

Once the chorus is scrawled messily across the paper a smile paints itself across my lips as a few tears streak down my cheeks singing what I've come thus far. With the pen still firmly in my hand a jot down notes of what chords and melody patterns were looping throughout my head the moment this song was brought to life and given wings. Tossing back the rest of my whiskey my teeth clamp down on my bottom lip making a face at the harsh bite it gives. The rest of the night is a blur and eventually after several more scribbled words littering my legal pad my emotions and the alcohol pumping through my veins takes over.

I pass out my limbs all slung around haphazardly on top of my legal pad and I'm roused awake by piecing rays of sun that streak through the blinds on my tour bus around 6:30 am. When I lift my head I almost imminently regret it, it feels as if it's full of lead and my ears are ringing, gently place my head back onto my pillow. Reaching for my iPhone that's resting on the night stand table I pick it up and squint at the display screen, _great_ in a little less than an hour Juliette and I have to go to a radio broadcast. Bucky knocks on the door letting me know we've reached our hotel. Making myself look a little more presentable I swap the tank top for a t-shirt and place a pair of over-sized sunglasses over my eyes.

Dropping my bags at the end of my bed I gild towards the bathroom. Flipping the light switch the practically fluorescent lighting causes me to squint until my eyes readjust to the lighting. Running a hand under my left eye I scrutinize my appearance, what is Deacon doing joining Juliette's band? I just can't help where my mind strays…sure I encouraged him to take the job but that was before. That was when the thought of a co headlining tour never crossed my mind. Momentarily I wonder if he will be joining Juliette and I today at the radio broadcast. Probably not, he is only her lead guitarist they don't want to talk to the band just the lead singers. Ruffling up my tresses a little bit I realize this is as good as it's going to get. My heels pad against the carpeting as I make my way towards my bags. Heaving the black suitcase onto the foot of the bed my fingers curl around the zipper before practically ripping the top off and shuffling through it. Swapping my current outfit for something, a little more suitable for a radio visit, not that I really have to impress anyone but still.

Finally, redressed and make up retouched my iPhone goes off, "shoot" escapes between my lips as I put down my tube of mascara and hurry towards the bedroom. My hand dashes into my purse and I click over just in time "Hello," comes out in one breathless pant.

"You ready?"

"Yeah be down in a minute." Bucky replies with an _ok_ before the dial tone echoes back at me. When I glance down at my phone there is yet again another missed call from Teddy, I can't help but roll my eyes. I said I needed time, that I wasn't sure what was going on with our relationship can't he just give me space. Turning the ringer off my phone I drop it back into my purse before sliding my pedicure toes into a pair of black Jimmy Choo peep toes. Pulling open my hotel door to reveal a patient looking Bucky.

Juliette and I don't talk at the entire time we're in the limo, we're both well aware that the other person's very existence annoys us. There is no use in painting on a pretty face for our managers or ourselves for that matter. Once we get back to the hotel all I really want to do is soak in a bubble bath but that is a luxury I do not have right now. There's sound check we have to make and since I'm closing the show tonight Juliette has the stage first for her sound check.

_I'll let you look inside me_

_Through the stains and through the cracks_

_And in the darkness of this moment_

_You see the good in that_

After making it through sound check I tuck myself away in my dressing room flipping through a copy of Rolling Stone. There's a crack against the door and my eyes flicker over my shoulder, who could it possibly be. Making my way towards the door my hand curls around the handle and I tug open the door a smile illuminating my features at the person on the other side. Deacon. Is presence is always a welcoming one, he is and always will be one of my best friends. Of course there will be more between us but for now I choose friends over bitter enemies. "Hi," it's the only word that manages to roll of the tip of my tongue. Internally I'm hoping my face isn't as expressive as it usually is and showcasing my confusion to him standing in front of me.

"Got a second, Ray?"

"For you? Sure I do. What's going on?" Moving to the side of the door I gesture for him to come into my dressing room however he surprises the both of us as he wraps his hand around my wrist and pulls me into the hallway by him.

"Have you forgotten our tradition already?" His deep voice questions striking me at first. Which tradition is he referring to? Going on road together for so long we've acquired several traditions that have carried through all these years.

Deacon drops my wrist and we walk side by side snaking our way through throngs of crew members moving about fanatically as they prepared everything for the show tonight. For a second as he weaves us through the arena that's buzzing to life with excitement over our show tonight, a show that I will be closing tonight. We make our way around the arena my heels clicking underneath me as he glances over at him. I'm lagging behind, normally we're always in sync being away from each other during a tour as clearly effected each of us. We make it around to the front where all the fans will be piling in from and I give Deacon a sideways glance before we move towards the series of concrete stairs at the off to the left side. He nods his head in the direction of the stairs and I offer a playful shrug as hurry towards them. We walk quickly up the stairs and made it to the second section of the arena before moving to the next series of stairs.

After trekking up the next series of concrete stairs we stroll around the complex and then make our way to an opening moving to the nosebleed seating. _Of course_, this is where he was bringing me, of course this was the type of tradition he was referring to. Goodness, I'll admit I have missed this kind of thing. Where just the two of us would sneak away from the rest of the band and crew members and find time for one another. Still after all this time, some things would never change, he'd always make time for me as would I for him.

He gestures with his hand for me to go first and at first I hesitate desperately trying to gage his motives. Is he being a gentleman or does he just want to check me out? A nervous chuckle slips from my lips and I shake my head disregarding the thought as carefully walk down the row of seats selecting one in the middle and pushing down the plastic chair. When I'm finally seated Deacon settles down next to me letting out a gentle breath as his eyes shift down to the stage taking in the view. This was always one of my favorite things of touring, doing this, with him. Taking in the stage from this perspective really grounded me, brought me back down, reminding me people would pay money for these seats just to hear some good music. It was that knowledge that effectively humbled me as an artist, never taking things for granted knowing just how quickly they could change.

We were both sitting there right next to each other, like old times, minus the making out, and the talking. Sitting their in silence only gave voice to all the things I had been trying to avoid thinking about. All the thoughts tangled together, rolling around in my brain urging me to spit out some of the things I'd held back from Deacon for the past twelve years. Glancing over at him between long black eyelashes I briefly attempted to envision what his reaction would be, would he relapse, _dear lord _I hope not. Really, the only reason I had even kept it from him was for his own well being. For all I knew he wouldn't make it work the fifth time either and would've wound up back in rehab. But he proved to me that he could do it, and since that day he hasn't had a drop of liquor for over twelve years. His strength and willpower after what he's gone through recently I really admire, Deacon has come such a long way. Gnawing on the inside of my cheek my eyes move over his side profile again but this time it doesn't go unnoticed.

"What?" Its only one question but from the convection of the simple word I know that he is well aware that I've been watching him almost the whole time we've been up here.

"Nothing," shaking my head my fingers fidget with the fringe from a hole in my faded blue jeans. Picking at the fabric my eyes become completely distracted by the movements loosing myself in my own thoughts.

"Rayna…" his voice has taken on a more concerned tone. And suddenly my defenses are laid down, _how _does he do that to me? It's crazy how all it takes is him breathing out my name in a tone that means business and I surrender.

"Um, there's something I need to tell you." The moment those words fall from my lips taking on a serious tone. Shifting in my chair I angle my body towards Deacon's and from his curious eyes my heart knows just how concerned and worried he is to hear what's to come. "Maddie is your daughter." Internally I curse myself for just spitting it, for not preparing him for that kind of bomb. But, I just I figured it would be best to just say it instead of sugar coating things, instead of beating around the bush Deacon wouldn't want any of this. A straight forward approach would be something he appreciated, or so I thought. His blue eyes sparked with emotion, and I wasn't too sure if it was rage, hurt, confusion, or possibly a combination. My hand reached out and clasped over his my thumb moving in gentle strokes over his knuckles trying to calm him down.

"Don't." Deacon managed to practically spit out at me jerking his hand away from my reach. Well at least I got my answer, he was livid, in every sense of the word. "How-Wh-Wh..What?" He stammered out while he pushed himself out of the seat next to me and pushed a hand through his dark brown hair.

Being up this high was enough to cause my stomach to drop but his behavior and the pacing was starting to freak me out even more. Maybe this wasn't the right thing, maybe I shouldn't have told him. No. No, this was the right thing to do Deacon deserved to know that Maddie was his daughter. "I think you know how," my voice tried a slight smirk falls to my lips knowing it was wrong to try and make light of the situation but I couldn't help it. My mind was screaming _Deacon is hurt, make him smile, _so I listened and did what I thought might do the trick.

When his blue eyes meet mine it was like they'd turned to ice as he gazed at me in bewilderment. A defeated sigh coursed through my lungs and I shrugged helpless to comfort him, I felt as if anything I would do would set him off. "What can I do?"

"Nothing. I need time, Ray…I just, I can't believe you kept something like this from me for all these years."

With that he stormed away from me and my body slumped back into the hard plastic chair I was stationed in and my arms shielded my face as I broke down. Finally, the weight of that secret had been relieved or lessened now that Deacon was in the know but that didn't mean that the hurt on etched into his facial features didn't break my heart, because it had. After several more moments of mourning our glory days the palms of my hands rub against my faded blue jeans and I push myself out of my chair and descend the concrete stairs. Switching over to auto-pilot I glide through the crew and reach my dressing room shutting the door and locking it behind myself. Behind closed doors I mix myself a drink and go about preparing for the concert.

_But try not to judge me_

_'Cause we've walked down different paths_

_But it brought us here together_

_So I won't take that back_

Hands tremble at my sides and I curl my fingers into fists walking briskly down the hallway, until I reach my destination. The hallway is silent and in a hotel I find that a factor that makes my skin crawl, never mind it is 4 AM so its quite understandable that the rest of the complex is still blissfully asleep. Creating a fist I lift it towards the wooden panel of his door. As my fist hangs mid-air not yet connecting with the door I sigh loudly knowing he's probably up as well, considering the bombshell I had dropped earlier. Why I had chosen that time to spill my heart out, is beyond me. Gosh, if I could go back I would strangle myself as the words choked out of my throat. He was livid, why would he even want to see me, dropping my fist I spin away from his door and begin to walk back towards the elevator. A rustle of a handle down the hall propels me to do a 180 as I tip toe down the hall back to Deacon's room.

This is the second time already this morning that I find myself in this exact position right fist hanging mid-air just about to make contact with the wood before pulling back. A voice inside my head is constantly reminding me of all the pain we've each caused one another. Me with this secret and Deacon with the demons that he couldn't fight off from four different trips to rehab. It's the knowledge that he made it through the fifth time, that he's stayed clean since then that draw my fist towards the wood and my hand wraps against the door. From the hallway a cuss word echoes and I quickly drop my fist to my side as he pulls the door open his eyes are red and bloodshot, and my heart shatters into a million little pieces scattering all over the floor. My arms ache to gather him into my body and just hold him, he steps a side to allow me to enter his room. No words have passed between us, we don't need them at this point. He makes no movement to reach out to me no attempt to make a connection at all, he's cold but honestly what could I expect.

Tugging the sleeves of my white sweater down my fingertips curl around the edge of it fidgeting momentarily as Deacon sinks down onto the side of his bed his head bowed waiting for me to say something, anything. "Why are you here Ray?"

This question causes me to shift the weight between both of my feet tugging on the sleeves of my sweater nervously. "I came to explain." Squeaks out praying that he'll actually give me the chance to explain why I didn't, why I couldn't tell him about Maddie.

"So explain," Deacon says dryly barely lifting his head to look at me. Seeing him like this scares me, knowing how close he can come to losing everything he's worked so hard to build. Everything he's accomplished by being twelve years clean and sober, I really don't want to be the reason all of that work gets derailed.

Leaning back against the wall my mind begins to race, _why didn't I think of my speech_ before coming over. Hell, I had thought about what I'd say to him to explain all of this numerous times but there is no use in memorizing some speech to recite to him. This is Deacon and he'd hate that, I get choked up as I began to try and explain myself to him. "I was scared. You couldn't stay sober to save your life, you'd fallen off the wagon after your fourth trip to rehab. One night I received a call from a bartender at 3am after a concert to come and pick you up. I scoured a city I was rather unfamiliar with, panicking because I couldn't find you." Tears began to well up in my eyes as the painful memories of those dark days ran vividly through my consciousness.

Deacon made no attempt to interject just hung his head sadly as he listened to me recollect his downfall from my perspective. "Up until that point you were doing good, I'm not sure what happened to make you revert back to alcohol…but you did. And I just, I needed something, someone, stable for the baby. When I took you back to rehab for the fifth time I had no idea that that time would change your life for the best." By this point the tears cascaded freely down my cheeks as I choked back a sob my arms crossing over my chest protectively as my upper body hunched forward slightly. Sobs racked through my entire body surprising myself as all the suppressed emotions from his dark spell splatter out and decorated the suite walls.

Consumed with my own emotional breakdown, I don't register Deacon move from the bed. "I understand, I was pretty messed up." Are the first words that whisper from his lips and I feel his hands clasp over mine giving them a gentle, and possibly even a reassuring squeeze. "I just wish you would've told me," he adds once I finally lift my head and four blue eyes lock, revealing the pain we're feeling. Subconsciously his thumbs roll over my knuckles soothing me more than he realizes, when it should be the other way.

Nodding my head a few sniffles sneak out and my hand moves from his grasp to wipe away some left over tears. "I know, I know…I wish I would've told you too. I just didn't want to derail your progress. And once you got out…well everything was screwed up, because of me."

"Hey, sush…it's done. It's over, we'll figure this all out okay?"

The hand that I released reached up and tipped my chin in his direction so he could study my eyes. Blinking several times a small smile crept across my lips it was fleeting but a smile nonetheless as I nodded my head in agreement to what he had just said. A small smile passed his lips and he gazed down at me, before he surprised the both of us and placed a tender kiss to my forehead. "You got that CMT interview don'tcha?"

"Yeah, I should probably go. We'll catch up later?" My voice is hopeful as I wipe away the rest of the remaining tears searching his eyes for the answer I desired to find.

"Of course."

An unspoken promise laced within those two simple words, carry me out of his hotel room as I make my way to the elevator. Upon arrival to my penthouse suite my eyes dart over to the alarm clock and I sigh touching up my makeup that I had ruined, then I brush my teeth and shuffle through my suitcase finding a scarf and shrugging into a black leather jacket. Ruffling my hair up a little bit it bounces against my shoulders before falling into place perfectly. Here goes nothing, at 7am Brucky meets me in the hotel lobby cradling my favorite latté in his hand. Once he exchanges the latté with me we make our way out into the early morning sun after he flags down our black SUV we climb inside. The door slams behind him and makes me jump from the sharpness of the slammed door, as I sip my latté.

The car ride was a little less than a half an hour to get to the television studio and to film my sequence it took about an hour our two give or take. Running on such little sleep, I told them they should have a blooper reel just for all my gags today. That caused the whole CMT crew Stormie Warren included to chuckle, and just hearing them laugh caused me to smile and let out a small giggle which one messed me up on my next take. Several hours later Bucky and I had returned back to the hotel, tomorrow morning we would be leaving for our next city. Every bone in my body screamed of exhaustion and all I wanted was to soak in a hot bubble bath and disappear from the world for a little while. Stepping onto the elevator I felt so much closer to making that daydream a reality closing my eyes my head tips back as I lean against the wall for support.

_We might be all in water_

_This could be a big mistake_

_We might burn like gasoline and fire_

_It's a chance we'll have to take_

The elevator doors are just about to close when someone physically stops it, my eyelids flicker open to see the new occupant. When my eyes settle on my new companion in the elevator my annoyance evaporates, he gives me a sideways glance and I can't keep my eyes off of him. No words have passed between us, he leans against the back wall of the elevator while I stand off to the right of him watching, waiting. I'm not totally sure what it is that I'm waiting for its not like he said something to me to make me think anything was wrong. It was just, his eyes the look in them when he stopped the door from closing and joined me in the small cubical. The silence is excruciating. Why isn't he talking, it looked like there was something that he was conflicted about something he wanted to say to me. Or maybe I'm way off base maybe he just needs to get back to his floor. God, who knows. Why am I reading so much into this? Do I want there to be something more? All I know is that I can not take my eyes off of him. Deacon swivels suddenly turning his entire body towards mine.

A surprised gasp escapes from my lips as he advances towards me. The rest is all as if it's happing in slow motion, he steps forward invading my space causing me glance up at him curiously. Deacon leans down, our noses brush and before I know it our lips connect. That dim spark that has been tarnished, and blocked for the past twelve years is struck with just the brush of his lips. I don't pull back, I can't, I don't want to. He is kissing me, Deacon is kissing me after so long. I have dreamed about this, what it would be like to kiss him again and now its happening. Holy shit, this is going to complicate everything even more that it already is. That doesn't explain why my hand reaches up and grabs onto the lapel of his black button up drawing his body flush against my own effectively backing me against the elevator wall. Our tongues wrap around one another's as we sink into desperation, longing. Our tongues ignite a dim spark that has been festering since we broke things off. Always being the one for control Deacon hoists me off my feet, my back slamming against the elevator wall. Luckily, the small cubical shoots us upward with no interruptions, no stopping to admit another occupant. We're all consumed in a passionate filled union as my legs naturally fold themselves around his midsection my ankles crossing the toe of my boots digging into his back lightly.

Slowly I slide my arms around to the front of his body naturally my hands curve over his rough cheeks keeping his lips to mine. Before I can even begin to tease him with my tongue his teeth clamp down on my tongue twisting and tugging on it greedily. This action escalates a moan from the back of my throat that seeps into his mouth as my entire body presses into his, surrendering to his strong will. When our lips break apart with a smack neither of us take the time to dwell on the similarities of the last time we shared a kiss. Once his lips leave mine, a shiver spirals down my spine, his lips trailing a wet sensual trail down my neck as his groin rigidity grinds against mine. The need, the desire, flares red hot from the center of my very being while my slender fingers slip through the course strands of his brown hair.

Giving his hair a gentle tug I bring his face back to mine attacking his lips once they're finally level with mine again. Our hips collide as my tongue traces the outline of his lips probing, begging for entrance, wanting to dance with his once again. Just as soon as he grants me access to his mouth I take my time, exploring, refreshing my memory of all the things that drive him insane. Swirling my tongue around his mouth my hand tugs back on his hair gently causing our lips to break contact. His forehead naturally finds it's place against mine and he gazes down at me enamored, desire and lust clouding his blue depths. I'm sure my own desperate lust, and uncontrollable want for him is reflected with the hues of my own blue eyes. We've waited so long of this, I'm dreamed of what this would be like after twelve years. My hands glide from his dark brown hair to his chest, as my palms lay flat against his pecs each breath he draws in I can feel matches my own. Being that in-sync with Deacon like this is, it's totally erotic, we've always had such a natural connection.

A shy smile chases along the line normally straight line of my lips creating a brief curved line. "Come here," he breathes out distracted by his unadulterated lustful haze he's under. When his left hand cups my cheek, his thumb moves smoothly from my cheek bone down to my jaw before drawing my lips to his. We meet in the middle our lips caressing one another's both my arms circling around his neck and holding my body securely against him. Deacon's right arm is looped across the small of my back latched there by his death grip intent on holding firmly and making sure I feel secure, safe. The elevator continues to propel us upward as we lose ourselves in one another and the familiarity of the other's lips, but also the differences that are there.

We continue to exchange deep kisses and my fingers get lost in the dark soft strands of his brown hair. Suddenly the _why_ this is a all happening distracts me, what changed his mind about crossing these kinds of boundaries? As his teeth nip at my lower lip tugging it back slightly I can't help but hum against his lips. Holy fuck. This all is just, amazing, each one of his kisses disarms me more. It's reminding me of the twenty year old aspiring Country Singer Songwriter. Now, here we are twenty years later and Deacon's managed to get me all flustered and sexually frustrated with just the simple touch of his lips. As the elevator jerks to a stop neither of us seem to notice, at least I don't think he does until he lifts my body away from the small cubical wall. Just before the door can close and plunge us back down through the series of floors to the lobby Deacon steps forward the toe of his cowboy boot blocking it from sliding shut.

It baffles me how he can be so silky smooth his lips never lost mine throughout the whole process of stopping the elevator doors and walking us to the penthouse door. To our connivance it was the only door on the entire floor, this was proving to be very helpful having this suite. My fingers tighten in his hair as he walks us to the door of the penthouse suite, with the air of a desperate man he carelessly bangs my back against the wooden panel of the door. A gasp slips from the tip of my tongue as our lips disconnect and his trail down the front of my chest pausing over the fabric of my sweater as he reaches the rise of my breasts. With every breath my breasts rise and fall accordingly I can't help but squirm against his touch, as his skillfully slides his hand into my back pocket fishing around for the key.

While his hand is there searching for the suite key he can't fight the urge and gives my ass a playful squeeze as he guides my groin towards his not feeling that we're close enough. A smirk plays across my features as my eyes light up with mischievousness, _god_ I have really missed him, this. Untangling slender fingers from his hair my right hand wormed itself between our bodies jamming into the side pocket of my leather jacket as fished out the key. Holding it between my index and middle finger between our bodies, four blue eyes searched one another a silent invitation, offering without words that I wanted this. Another excruciating minute longer we stood their assessing one another breathing staggered, we were both already worked up not giving into our desire now would be, just wrong.

Not wasting another minute Deacon snatches the proffered key that I've been holding between us and swipes it and turning the handle in what seems like one swift motion. The door bangs open hitting the opposing wall and we stumble through the threshold he lifts my back from the wooden door and twirls me around the room as he kicks the door closed with the heel of his boot. As soon as the door closes he pins me against the back of it and my chest heaves from the intensity of all of this. Deacon's fingers tear at the scarf that's swaddled around my neck tossing it aimlessly across the large suite moving to rid me of the leather jacket I'm wearing. Watching him fanatically striping articles of clothing from my body causes a smirk to fall onto my lips. Pushing a hand through his hair our eyes connect and his dart over the newly exposed flesh before his hands shimmy down my sides reaching the hem of my white sweater he pauses. His dark blue eyes await a response to his silent question, all it takes is a simple flicker my eyelids and a tip of my head and he's pealing the soft white fabric from my upper body. Releasing him my arms rise above my head aiding him in the removal of my sweater. This hardly seems fair that I'm losing all my clothes and yet he's still fully clothed, with a huff of distain my fingers diligently run along the front of his black button up.

Deacon's full lips are refreshing their memory of the taste of my skin, and reacquainting themselves with the spots that drive me mad. He flicks his tongue behind my left ear causes my breathing to hitch as my body squirms against him itching to feel him out of the confines of his restricting wranglers. Quickly my fingers undo the buttons of his black button up and I waste no time shoving it off his shoulders. His strong arms leave their hold on me causing me to use my get myself balanced by the strength in my legs that were looped around Deacon's midsection. A flurry of black cotton billowed to the floor showcasing our path as he spun us around and headed into the bedroom. Neither of us bother with lights both to wrapped up in the heat of the moment, as my lips attack his shoulder and slid up to his neck sucking on the soft flesh there.

A few staggered steps later and Deacon's right arm leaves it's place around the small of my back as he shoves something out of his way. I am so consumed in what my lips are doing that I barely register Deacon toss me down into the bed. Once he discards me onto the bed my body bounces against the mattress slightly and he grabs onto my left leg tugging me to the edge of the bed as he pulls off my cowboy boot. Repeating this action with my right leg he removes me of cowboy boots and drops them carelessly to the floor at the foot of the bed. Tugging of my socks he throws them away and kicks off his own cowboy boots his eyes never leaving mine. My lower lip curls into my lips and my teeth capture it, holding it prisoner as I watch him and hook my finger into the belt loop of his wranglers and yank his body closer to mine. His body follows suite as he crawls on top of me his hands skimming over the top of my thighs and skirting underneath my thin camisole that is hiding my upper body from his vision.

Shifting my eyes to the connection of lower bodies my fingers fiddled with the buckle of his belt not happy with the fact that it was still securely in place. Undoing his belt my hand wrapped around the buckle and tore it from the belt loops shocking Deacon and myself from the desperation that kind of action revealed. The feel of his lips is distracting as he sucks on my ear lobe and then releases it swirling his tongue in the inside of my ear driving me wild. A satisfied sigh pierces the air surrounding us as my body arcs into him my hands grab onto his waist and my hands dance down the front of his jeans feeling the growing bulge restricted by the dark denim. My hand cups the front of his pants grasping him and feeling him twitch under my palm as my thumb and index finger push the button of his wranglers out tugging down the zipper.

Under my palm I feel him twitch, inching to break from and I run my hand over him working the material of the denim against him, in a teasing fashion. That's when I feel his fingertips scooting further and further up underneath the thin cotton of my camisole. Teasing the soft pale flesh, both of my hands slap against his hips taking a firm hold of his dark blue denim and inching them slowly off of his hips. My movements are stopped as he shoves up my camisole causing my to inwardly shiver as the air conditioned spills against my newly exposed flesh. Deacon peals the useless article of clothing from my upper body and rocks back on his knees his eyes admiring me. Blushing under his gaze I divert my eyes from his and tug on his belt loops bringing him back down to me. Our lips find one another as if it's our life line, meanwhile my hands work his jeans off of his legs. Not breaking out kiss, he kicks his legs free of his jeans and his erection springs free as our groins connect I can feel him at my hip. The friction of my blue jeans and his boxers is beyond frustrating, but _oh_ so delicious. He's spurring on this red hot desire that's spilling from my very core and reaching the tips of my fingertips as the ache to feel him in all his glory.

We become a series of wandering hands and probing tongues as we sink into a pace, his fingers tease the white lace of my bra as I wiggle beneath him. His calloused hands skate down my toned stomach as his index finger traces my torso while head follows the same path. As he assaults my stomach with tender kisses coupled with a flurry of butterfly kisses I groan tilting my hips upwards feeling the pressure of the button of my jeans be relieved. It doesn't take him any time to remove the unwanted article of clothing that was preventing skin against skin contact. Throwing my wrangles across the room Deacon's arms scoop around my body brining me closer as he slows his movements watching me a smile passes between us as his lips crash against mine.

Trailing my finger across the top of his boxers, back and fourth, back and fourth, slow, fast, I dragged the pad of finger along the line even slower yet teasing him to no end. We're both taking our time, wanting to drive the other insane and before we give in and surrender to what we've both wanted for so long. He leans down so our hips brush and he gives me this grin that is undeniable. I hook my right arm under his arm pit bringing him flush against myself distracting him with the intimacy as my left hand slips in-between his boxers and grasps onto him. My hand curves around him, as much of him as I can hold and slowly slid up and down his impressive length with ease. Just from the sensation of him and being refreshed with the size of him my mouth his watering in anticipation to what will follow. Working my hand in a teasingly slow pace up and down him bit increasing the pace a little more. A bit of sticky pre-cum comes rolls over his tip and kisses my fingers as he groans against my collarbone his teeth nipping at the tender flesh there.

Deacon's hand catches my wrist ceasing all my motions as he pulls my hand away from it's carnal actions spurring him further. "Not like that," he whispers to soften the blow of taking me away from my fun staring at me before his lips lightly brush mine and skim down my chin. When he reaches the valley between my breasts his nose wedges itself between my breasts and he offers a line of kisses through the valley, and once he reaches the front clasp of my bra his teeth expertly undo it. As soon as my bra flutters open his eyes darken with lust as he gently cups each one between both of his hands, his thumbs slowly rolling over each nipple teasing me. It's delicious, my imagination definitely did not give him justice after all this time. His lips all of a sudden are on me again, as he divides his attention between both my breasts not wanting to leave one unattended to. Once he's had his fun teasing my nipples his lips scurry down my body taking a slow latitude As he reached the top of my panties his tongue poked out from between his lips and he ran across the top of them in a longitude motion.

From his actions, his teasing my chest heaved and my breathing shifted along with it my knees naturally closing as he inched his way down my body with his lips. Not an inch of my skin was left untouched by his lips, and I was soaked from all this foreplay. Deacon brushed his lips against my the fabric of my red panties effectively pressing my own wetness against me, causing me to let out a shallow breath as his lips touched over my lower lips. Without warning his thumbs hooked into either side of my panties and he easily removed me of them. I tilted my hips towards him as I aided him in the removal process, and reached for his own boxers and shoving the elastic from his hips freeing him with a wicked smile.

After he had me naked, my body wiggled against the bed as I gazed up at him sighing contentedly as his fingers moved up and down my slick entrance. His mouth hovered over my sex and Deacon blew against me as his tongue flicks against my clit his fingers sink into me. Moving his tongue in a circular motion around my clit his middle and index finger move within me thrusting in and out. "Ahh," comes out as a breathy moan as he suckles on my bundle of nerves while his fingers continue to pound into me.

With a flick of his wrist he swirls his fingers around my insides stroking my inner walls reacquainting himself with my most intimate depths. Naturally my hips rock forward egging him on, my head trashes from side to side as I ride out all the sensations that are coursing through my body. He releases me from his lips and uses his tongue along my lower lips wiggling between his fingers and joining on the action. "Oh…Deac," sputtered out from the back of my throat and came out as a pleasurable moan my heart rate quickening as his fingers and tongue picked up pace that was sure to drive me right over the edge.

His fingers and tongue continually pumped in and out of me building me higher and higher I wasn't too sure how much longer I'd hold out. With all that foreplay, and considering how long it had been since we'd done this, all my senses were heightened. When he angled the thrusts of his tongue and two fingers in a different direction I yelped in surprise completely taken off guard and loving every second of it. Stilling inside of me, caused me to arc my body off the mattress my hips eagerly rising with the hopes of him continuing on. Grabbing onto my hips his lips caress me as he wiggles his tongue inside of me alongside of his fingers that pick up their pace. He swirls his tongue around inside of my darkest depths, once, twice and then worms around inside me the tip of his tongue exploring.

"Deacon…oh. My. God." Comes out between staggered breaths as his fingers thrust in and out of me and he palms my sex in the process as his tongue wiggles and then swirls tasting every part of me. Thrusting his tongue deep within me he hits my undoing making me cry out in pleasure, and he tips his head back to admire me. Seeing just what that particular action does to me he decides to do it again, his tongue probes it again and again. Jabbing my undoing again and again before he swirled his tongue around touching every inch of my insides and effectively spurring my climax. The world spins around and my eyelids flicker quickly as the muscles in my thighs tighten and involuntary close around his head falling over the edge, feeling myself clamp down around his tongue and fingers. "Ah….Oh…..Ah…God," is my cry of ecstasy as I lay spread across the bed breathless and panting from the orgasm he just built me up to.

Rise, and fall, in and out is all I can focus on as I attempt to regulate my erratic breathing. His fingers leave me and his tongue tastes my tangy sweetness as he dabs up my juices causing me to wither beneath him as his tongue slides against my throbbing core. Moving up my body Deacon licks his lips as he towers above me, my eyes gaze up at him lost in haze from the high I just reached because of him. Reaching up my arms loop around his neck and bring his body down against mine. Our lips mesh with one another and he flickers his tongue against mine and I can taste a hint of myself that lingers there. His body weight crushes down against me as my back imprints itself into the mattress.

Having a hold of my hips he brings me closer to himself and my hand wraps around pulling him closer as I urge him to enter me. We become lips, tongues, and teeth as we swap kisses back and fourth and before I can even react he thrusts into me stilling for a moment allowing us both the chance to adjust. Stretching, to accommodate him my teeth capture his lower lip tugging back on it as he begins to move slowly in and out of me. A groan rolls out from the back of his throat and spills into the air between us causing me to smirk releasing his lip from my grasp.

My delicate hands skim along his sides reaching around and cupping his ass between my palms and aiding him as he rocked back and fourth, easily slipping in and out of me. Each time he tilted backward my hips rose to meet his surprising myself by falling into a rhythm I thought had long disappeared between us. Leaning my back off the mattress my soft lips moved across his chest refreshing my memory of the details that were there. Fingertips bounced against the inside of his forearm blindly tracing the ink that is etched into his skin there. The memory of the day he got that tattoo flashes quickly through my jumbled brain.

"Ray.." he breaths out between staggered breaths as leans down and covers my lips with his wanting that intimacy, wanting that connection.

Completely at his will my lips return his kiss my hand gliding up his toned back and weaving through his hair. Pushing through the patch of small hair at the base of his neck my fingers tangle through his hair my other hand grasping onto his side my nails grazing his back as he moved with in me. As our lips attacked one another's we became lost in the rhythm we created for ourselves my kisses encouraging him to pick up the pace. "Deac…" I whispered against his lips right leg wrapping itself around his waist as my hips met his thrust for thrust Deacon picking up a pace.

With a rotation of his hips the tip of his penis drove deeper and deeper inside of me. The slight change of position increased the depth of his thrusts as well, and my breathing hitched as he hit part of me that had laid dormant for the past twelve years. I'd only every been with a total of four people Teddy and Deacon making up half of my list, and no one compared to Deacon. My head tipped back as he rocked back and fourth moving smoothly in and out of me, my eyelids flickered closed as my entire body surrendered to him.

Deacon swivels his hips and makes a figure eight motion coupling this action with long slow thrusts building the both of us painfully slowly back to a peak I am greedily aching to reach. Part of me wants to quicken the process, but as he rears back and does the figure eight motion again I feel his penis circle around my insides causing me to moan loudly my body, as I pressed my perky chest firmly into his. Another swivel of his hips and he removed himself completely from me making me whimper in protest. The tip of his penis slid up and down my folds making me squirm against him as my tongue slipped into his mouth wrapping around his sparking a battle of wills. Deacon didn't give me any more warning and just bucked his hips forward slamming back into me.

Our hips connected and I grinded against him my leg tightening around his waist as my flat foot pressed down against his ass urging him on. He could take a hint and as our lips danced he drove into me relentlessly increasing his pace a smidge. A grunt escaped from behind his gritted teeth and caused me to smirk against his lips. Deacon was always such a gentleman, except for during his dark days, but that was a whole other story. As our lips tangled, playing, and fighting against one another for control my hands gripped onto his toned back feeling every muscle beneath my palms and exciting me further.

He had always been such a sight, and naked _damn__**. **_Just staring at him was heaven my hands slid up to cup his face as I physically pulled my lips away from his needing air. Gazing down at me affectionately my chest heaved up and down a breathless moan scratching at the back of my throat as he slipped inch by inch out of me. When he left me entirely I whispered tip my head up enough to shift my eyes over his actions, pushing me back against the mattress he waited, watching, teasing before he plunged back inside of me. With a yelp of pleasure Deacon filled me, stretched me, and with each long thrust was bringing me higher and higher.

The head of his penis hit my undoing, once, twice, "ohh" and having given him that small helpful hint as my body bowed up into his he smiled in delighted pleasure. His smile brushing across me soft skin while he thrusted in and out of me hitting me again and again. Several more of his countless torturous thrusts later and he had me unraveling underneath him. "Ahh….Deacon," the last part came out as a breathy whisper as my body turned to jello and found its desired peak. All the muscles in my stomach contacting as he stills himself within me.

As my head twists and turns against the pillows, feeling his blue eyes trained no me watching me ride out my most recent orgasm. In the aftershocks of reaching my climax my legs wobble slightly and the leg around Deacon tightens caging him there. Still riding out my mind blowing peak my nails dig into his back, and my body bows into his curving perfectly against him. Deacon begins to move inside of me again, before I've come down from my high, intent on finding his own release. He thrusts sharply in and out of me in a leisurely fashion picking up the pace he had set previously before pieces of me where showered across the walls of his hotel room. Rolling my eyes into the back my head my throbbing entrance pulsated around him as he slipped in and out of me quickening his thrusting. Not even five minutes later Deacon's eyes were fluttering as he drove himself to release, spilling everything he had to offer into me. "Ugh..Ray." Bellowed from his deep voice in ecstasy as he collapsed on top of me, the weight of his body crushing momentarily before my walls clamped down tightly around him.

We laid their tangled and sweaty enjoying the pleasure of our connected bodies. _God_, that, that was spectacular, amazing, frantic, desperate, mind-blowing, and just so much better than I could've ever imagined it would be. My arms loop around him and hold him against me clinging to the intimacy of the moment and not ever wanting to let him go. After a while once we've both regained our strength, our composure, Deacon lifts himself up and pulls himself out of me. I wince in response to him leaving me, licking my lips he rolls onto his side causing me to back up his arms circling my waist as we cuddle together. Our arms cling to one another desperate that this isn't just some kind of dream that both of us will wake up from and find ourselves disappointment by the harsh reality.

_We may shine, we may shatter_

_We may be pickin' up the pieces here on after_

_We are fragile, we are human_

_And we are shaped by the light we let through us_

_But we break fast 'cause we are glass_

_We are glass_

My head is spinning I can hardly believe everything that's transpired in the last 24hours. From spilling my heart out to Deacon finally, to that kiss that lead to so much more in the elevator, to that mind blowing sex. Ever since I gave all this up twelve years ago I've caught myself daydreaming about what this would be like on more than one account. Suddenly the emotional weight of everything that transpired today crushes down on me, Deacon's arm a physical reminder of what developed between us. A smile glides across my lips and I lace my hand with his giving it a gentle squeeze turning to face him. The moment we come face to face, I see the unmistakable frown cutting across the lines of his forehead and instantly I know what he's thinking. "Hey," is my whispered greeting my opposite hand reaching up and cupping his cheek so that he'll look me directly in the eye.

Knowing him for twenty years aids me with an upper hand, sensing what he's thinking, what he's feeling from just a simple look. When Deacon was hidden by the alcohol it was hard to find him, hard to understand what he really meant but this Deacon, this is the one I know to the bone. Right now, as we lay wrapped up in one another wearing nothing but a thin high thread-count hotel sheet his mind is worlds away at what we just did. Effectively crossing a line he resisted for the last twelve years, the temptation had always been there but now, things had changed we reignited everything we shared when we were that couple. There was just that one, small detail, I am still technically married to Teddy. As I gaze up at Deacon, my blue eyes can see him physically retreating further into himself sinking further away from me.

"Stop, don't do this to yourself Deac…" my voice pleads with him, unlacing our fingers and giving his shoulders a little shake for emphasize. "Woulda look at me, please?" Gently my thumb and index finger tip his chin up so that his head is at the same level as mine, waiting. The usually bright blue of my eyes are clouded over with worry turning them into a whimsical bluish gray. Having sent him to rehab five different times, I know the signs, the look that comes along with his relapse and how Deacon's being right now is scaring the hell outta me.

Finally, once his normally bright blue eyes meet mine I've noticed that they are darkened and are now a shining sapphire. My hand cups his cheek and our faces drift close to one another's resting my forehead on the bridge of his nose my eyelids drift closed momentarily. Our breathing shifts and I find mine matching his, our chests rising and falling at the same rate. When my eyelids flicker open I gaze up at him to find him already staring down at me. The look in his eyes is completely disarming and I can feel him completely unraveling my insides from just that look. His hand curls around my hip holding me close to himself, our noses brush "Ray.." Deacon whispers out his words carrying so much weight and emotion that it makes my insides churn. I know he's struggling with his morals, not wanting to over step any more boundaries than we've already broken today.

"Deac…I haven't been this happy, in…well in a really long time." Rolls right off the tip of my tongue as my whispered confession. While my thumb strokes up and down the stubble along his jaw line. "I'm going to tell Teddy that I want a divorce tomorrow."

"Not because of me..right?" His voice is urgent, hopefully that the falling out of my marriage will not rest on his hands.

"No, no, Teddy and I haven't been happy for a long time now. This has been a long time coming we've both just been postponing the inevitable."

"Okay," Deacon concedes which makes me smile, he knows far better than anyone when it's time to just drop things. After all these years of holding in this secret about Maddie I don't want to keep in the dark about anything ever again. Keeping that secret from him for the last twelve years even if it was for his sake and Maddie's breaks my heart knowing that they've missed this much time. That we've lost so much time as a couple, but as we cling to one another I know I never want to lose this, lose him again.

"Now, can we order some room service? I'm starved." Our noses brush as I lean into his body. Deacon can't hold back his laughter, a deep throaty laugh erupts from him while he shakes his head at me.

"You really haven't changed Ray."

"Are you complaining?" I tease him my index finger trailing across the definition of his pecs as I quirked an eyebrow up at him.

"No way," he said shaking his head as a look of wonderment captured his face before his lips claimed mine with his own.

Just as soon as his lips connected with mine, my naked body melted against his and my leg slung itself around his waist bringing his groin even closer to my own. Not wanting him to stray far from me just yet. The moment our hips connect a soft moan creeps out the back of throat and seeps into our kiss. My tongue flickers against his and he wastes no time snagging my tongue with his teeth, clamping down on my tongue he sucks gently before we both break apart from one another. Deacon untangles himself from me, escalating a whine from me, _god_ I want more, now. Smirking at his bare backside my eyes admire him reaching out to touch him as he throws the sheets from his body and moved to a sitting position. He leans down and retrieves his boxers before standing up and pulling them into place on his hips as he walked around the penthouse making his way towards the living room area.

Rolling on my side to follow his easy movements, I smile dreamily lost in a blissful revere. When he suggests a certain ethnic food, my nose scrunches up in distaste and I shake my head shooting down his suggestion. Catching his smirk I'm reminded that he only suggested that because he _knows_ I don't like it and just wanted to see me make that face. Reaching behind myself I grab a pillow and fling it across the room at him, Deacon anticipates my move and braces himself grabbing the pillow mid-air before it collided with his face. Laughter echoes throughout the penthouse and, when a sudden hollow knock pierces against the wooden panel of the hotel door we both fall silent eyeing one another.

Who the hell could that be? Bucky knows I am in my room, and if he needed me he'd just call. Sighing my eyes frantically search for my clothes but when we eventually ended up making it to the penthouse clothes were discarded as quickly as possible. Throwing the sheet off my body I quietly urge Deacon to stay where he is and order us something to eat while I deal with who is ever at my door. Hopefully its just the maid service or something, the moment I spotted Deacon's discarded black button up I bend down and pluck it off the floor. Another knock sliced across the wood and caused me to jump ever so slightly, "coming." Quickly doing the buttons of Deacon's button up my eyes scanned the floor as I made my way to the door frowning not seeing a sign of any of my clothes, _where the hell were they?_

Inhaling deeply my hand curled around the handle of the door and I twisted it, tugging back on the door and gasping slightly at the figure standing in front of me. "Teddy."

_We are glass._

* * *

**A/N: **Mkay there you have it...my thoughts on what should happen next week, here's to wishful thinking and a creative imagination, *Cheers* to that! Okay okay so the song Rayna is "writing" is not mine...it actually belong to Rascal Flatts and company the song is "Come Wake Me Up". And if you missed it, the lyrics sprinkled throughout the story is "Glass" by Thompson Square. Um, I can't remember for the life of me if Charles Esten has a tattoo or not, so if not for the sake of my sanity I gave him one. Alrighty well if you got this far..and enjoyed what you read..well I would really love to hear it. Reviews honest to god make my life, so maybe be so kind and make my life? That would be amazing! I hope it wasn't too bad. Mauhh until next time (:

xoxo


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